Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
