In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
