Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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