Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
