Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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