so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
