you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
