kristin has been a bad kristin
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
