My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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