i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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