I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
