there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
