Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
