I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
