lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
