some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
