No subtext here. People are naked.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
