Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
