I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
