hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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