We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize