Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
