I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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