the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
