In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
