didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Do vagina's smell?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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