i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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