The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All the doctor said was why
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
