Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
