Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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