talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
