You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
