is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
