I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
whose parrot is this?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
