So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
