Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
