Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
