I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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