i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
