grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
