I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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