How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
