i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
