Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
