do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This girl is more easily done than said...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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