he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
