running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
