between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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