She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
