when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I lost the right to judge tonight
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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